we hiked up up up past the hazy 4th of july smoke of the la basin yesterday. looking down onto layers of bluish peaks felt other worldly, and the smell of pine under my feet felt crunchy and nostalgic. i walked in the shade of tall trees and listened to the sadness i carry. lupe's spirit refreshed me as she marveled at things like lizards and wildflowers and i smile at her eagerness and youth. it is good to sweat like my dad on days when the sun is warm and the sky is blue.

we cooked together, and i felt grateful for the hands of many. eating with a small group felt so managable, and i remind myself that 24 is too many. i like people at my table, feeling welcome, being fed. and as the few came after, they share from the heart, and i am burdened to pray for healing, and to love more deeply.