dreaming big.


it feels like fall these days. the air is cooler, nights earlier, and clouds more fluffy. there is a breeze i've come to recognize as a sign of the season, and i can hear kids laughing from next door.


i start teaching tommorow. it's been harder for me to nail down the specifics of the first few lessons. i seem to be in a "dream big" state of mind, in teaching and in life.

oprah said today that love is in the details. i haven't been watching much of her show, but this sticks with me. to love my students by knowing clearly the material, the direction. and to love the expressions on their faces. to use care and inflection and personality in each moment. to take time.


to love the details of this day. my blue colander from france and catching one stray bowtie pasta on my sock like a hacky sack. spicy chicken sausage and garlic. frozen grapes, hot shower, and the sense of day settling into itself as people come home.


to love myself in the many and detailed "imperfections" that i see. in these last months of my twenties, i am childlike in eagerness. i wear myself out. i can be outspoken and at times unaware. i am obsessive with the house, cracks in the floor, crumbs and vacuuming. i don't always listen well. occasionally, my insides spin off their axis, and at times i hear voices and feel schizophrenic when i try to listen to them all. i spend too much and enjoy too little. i sometimes disappear when people look too closely.


and in all these details, i am loved.