someone i haven't seen in a while asked me tonight how i am. and it was one of those moments where you know the person doesn't have time to hear the answer, and most likely doesn't really care anyways. so i said, "good... teaching."

which is true. i am good. in a learning to balance and listening to life as it comes kind of way. and i am teaching. in a love it but wish i could slow down kind of way.

and how am i?

i have half a dozen or so blogs saved from this week. written and not posted.

in my mind, no, deeper than that, in my being somewhere, are dozens more things i would like to say. to say quietly, to a close friend. to scream from the top of something tall. to ask questions over the internet that don't need to be answered.

and mostly, this space never feels quite right. i'm unsure really, what blogs are supposed to be for. people use them for all sorts of different things, that much is clear. but for me, at least in this season, my posts are mostly silent... notes to self. feelings at times overwhleming, but usually safe. stories i remember clearly, and those that are fuzzy.

i suppose what i want to say today, is that my steps feel sure. up and down mountains on clear days. through puddles on rainy ones like tonight. often alone, but rarely lonely anymore.

and this is the wholeness i imagined.