it's raining this morning and i'm thankful for a day off.

dan came by to plan fences, and it strikes me that my home investments right now are all about creating the framework. defining the space around my home, knowing what i want. establishing boudaries, fences. setting aside one section from another, dividing for purpose. grass here, planter here, relaxation here, chicken cooking here.

the tree people came and trimmed and cut. hopefully the fruit will be more plentiful this spring.

and as things evolve, i can't help but know that my internal frames are also being built, established, defined.


i said no thank you to a man in my life this week. no thank you to dinners where you sit and talk about yourself and then leave me standing on the sidewalk in the middle of chinatown when my car is a block away. no thank you to your indecision about what you feel for me. no thank you to lazy last minute offers of sushi where i pay half after you eat everything. no thank you to your blank expression as i animate with stories about my students. no thank you to "i really really like you but i'm just in a strange place in my life right now." no thank you to you who has no idea who i am.



i am feeling my fences.


so tonight i will eat dinner with a new man who makes me laugh.




and soon, i pray... imagine... i will be able to plant my agave and wildflowers. soon, i hope for blossoms and color, for paths of stone and grasses that blow gently while we sit in the sun. and this year, i will not let my neighbor clean my whole apricot tree before i get to eat any.