i cannot understand the mystery of paradox. this day in particular it seems to my spirit that joy and sadness live so close together. the moments flip and rotate between these two, and i need both equally.


i went crazy at the farmers' market this morning. indulged on my day off and left with more produce and flowers than i could carry gracefully. i saw a friend, hugged her. i saw children with fathers. i saw couples dressed jeans and sweatshirts, holding hands.

i bought asparagus and cabbage from people who grew it themselves. i chose a bread with whole grains that felt good in my hands. i smelled flowers and sampled a sour raspberry. i even contemplated brussel sprouts though i hated them as a seven year old.


i drove through cold air and clear blue sky with ben harper blasting.

perused lowes with my christmas gift card. (thanks mom and dad)

bought a classic white mailbox to match my new fence. some heat resistant paint for my heater grill. big leafy green plants for my living room. some shelving wood for my antique plates in the kitchen. gas can for the lawn mower.


i ate the final bit of corn and black bean soup for lunch. snacked on edamame. put my feet on the picnic table and laid on the driveway watching clouds and squinting at the sun.