today was a crazy day. this morning i was eating toast for breakfast looking out the window waiting for my ride and saw this guy stealing bread out of the car. brother liam, i said with very little emotion in my voice... there is a man stealing bread. he ran out the front gate after him. brother madden was just walking back from mass and caught him from the front and the guy paniched, ran and jumped over the gate, yelling. he caught his leg on the nails on the top, and i could see the gash, left half of his pants on the top of the gate and went running, limping. i was in tears, so sad for him, for the desperation here, the hunger. brother liam said as he climber over the gate he was yelling, it's only me brother liam.

young boy.

liam says he was just going to sell the bread for rand and use it on things unhealhty anyway... and that they would have given him the bread if he had just asked. i think i'm at the end of my rope though... not able to handle things emotionally anymore, breaking down easily. the blood trail was all the way down the cobble stone when i walked back today. i cannot forget him.


kathy is driving me bonkers about our concert tommorow. i feel we are competitive for some reason... and she doesn't trust me. i am a good teacher, and so that bothers me. hard to try to maintain an attitude of forgiveness and peace. i just want to be bitter.


concert tommorow. i'm excited, lots of details to remember and goodbyes to say.


today i was at the hall all day rehearsing and finally got a car to come back to school to eat. they welcomed me with hugs, not used to having me be gone all day. i got lots of attention for my tennis shoes and hat. (usually i'm dressed up.) good to be loved and comfortable with these people. so thankful for great relationships, remembering the prayers spoken. thank you.


did i tell you when you drive in the township in the afternoon there are colored children, colored in uniform, each school carries their own shade of brown, marron, navy. ours is bright green, and i can spot my small students walking from far away, often five abreast and in my way in the road, scattered among many other walkers, making driving fun and dangerous. we wave and honk at smiling faces who instantly recoginze our fancy car and white skin. it feels like community, being known. i will miss this. there is something about a walking culture too that is refreshing.


the other day a guy got mad though to see me in the township. started speaking in english about white people shoudn't come here. masego got mad at him, and his friends said. white people are human too.


anna and i laughed for hours last night. she is cheeky and fun and i feel she is a sister. this is a gift i will realize more acutely after i leave. this friendship. i don't know what i would have done with no one to share stories and frustrations and tears with each night.