sunday.




redemption comes more slowly than i imagined, understood. it falls forward gradually, and in pieces, unfolds over itself until know again that i am living a new life. i am shocked daily with new peace, find myself reminding in conversation silent and aloud, as if testing the solidness of future, i shake my head in disbelief. i'm surprised in unexpected moments, where i cannot absorb the glory inside. tears came tonight at a red light. i sit with groceries in the front seat. hummus and black bean chips. avocado and blueberry yogurt. i needed no chocolate tranquilizer, and can eat slowly now. content. unrushed. fuel for tommorow.

someone asked today what i want. there are so many parts of this answer. today... a life free of anesthetic, distraction from what's hard and ugly. i want to know what i carry, know it fully, love it all the best i can. i want to cherish this cycle of things growing again and again, follow the circular motion as it leads me, and have courage every step.