waking up early is nice sometimes. i'm keeping my head above water. i unexpectedly had enough energy to do three HUGE loads of laundry last night, take a hike in the mountains this morning, and do some financial planning/dreaming for this spring and summer.

a long day of teaching awaits, and i feel ready... trying to figure out how to eat two healthy meals on the road in between stops and hoping to make it to stretch class tonight.


i went to a thoughtful, very helpful lecture on monday at my beloved PCM about the evolution of this organization as it has become mid sized and is at some sort of crossroads in terms of identity. this consultant had done a deep analysis of the history, finances, direcion, student population, and then summarized with what i felt was a really intelligent and "whole" understanding of what it means to evaluate what you are, what the subtle questions of identity are, and then realize the gammit of options that exist as you imagine potential forward steps.

what i see here is complex... but part of it is that this conservatory loves itself enough to take the time and consideration to slowly make informed and careful steps forward into its own future. and this is how i imagine the love we have for "ourselves" as individuals unfolding too...

each step we take forward is a chance to redefine what we want, who we are, and what things look like ahead on the path.


as i write this way too quickly, i don't do justice to the thoughts that have been stimulated for me.

what feels significant is that maybe we "people" (as an organization) will never have a set plan for our lives. there will always be nuance and choice and consequence and variant in identity.

and we don't have to choose just one path. excellence is not arriving. it is in the loving process of taking in all the information carefully, assessing the best we know how, and then stepping forward. see where you are. the view is grand. and i feel a new sense in my own life... that there is plenty of time.