i played chopin at the annual silverlake conservatory concert on saturday. i kind of bit it. that stunk. i like to do well at things. i like to succeed, to bow with satisfaction. failure is good for me though, in a funny way. it connects me to the humanity that i am, forces me to know my weakness, and to be ok still.
i was complaining about an incompetent person recently. my friend listened patiently, and then said, "it sucks to be human." i stopped complaining. it was a gentle way to tell me that i might be a bit too hard on others. and on myself too i think.
i have been working so hard lately. one of those weeks where you don't even know what to do with yourself when you have a moment. it's all good stuff. and then there is the reality that i cannot do everything. or at least, i cannot do everything well, and still have some sort of restful life.
i am getting more calls for work. i need to say no a few more times, i think. i want to live the new year refreshed. i want space for my human self.
i will tell my students about my performance, especially when they mess up and feel bad. i will remember that we all need room to grow.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment