Monday, November 22, 2004

i am home now and the chestnut banister feels smooth and warm on my hand as i ascend and breathe. i feel tired and a bit disoriented, as often happens when i travel from one world to another. the busyness of my teaching schedule has been full of joy, but perhaps a bit relentless. i imagine i am more weary than i knew, and so tonight i will sleep many hours.

tommorow i drive to boston to hug caleb and abigail and encourage mariah as she mothers well. my sweet niece has been deemed the keeper of my most special teddy bear. in my inner healing group we use teddy bears when necessary, an idea i was once resistant to and now take advantage of often. a dear woman gave me a bear after a tough weekend months ago, and when i visited abigail last summer, she and the special bear bonded immediately. and how do you tell a two year old that you hold her with you always, that you love her beyond words, that it's hard to get on the plane and say goodbye? you let her keep your special bear.


mariah says she sleeps with it every night. i can understand perfectly.

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